repost from tribes

If I may....(IMHO).... Sad but true Jim...and I agree with fellow moderator Jennjen. As moderator of Omni_love tribe here and Omnilove pod on Zaadz, I find a sense of resignment in struggling couples which leads to the easy fixes of over-use of substances for escape rather than enjoyment. And the tough work, the counseling and expenses, not to mention the public embarrassment and the lonely uncomfortable moments, deter most from pursuing more intense processes. Giving up is easier than struggling through because the promise of something new and exciting is waiting on Myspace. Just today a nineteen year old vixen sent me an invite with sultry pictures and asked to be friends. As a 54 year old with a partner who has lost her romance and sex drive to menopause I can't tell you how flattering and attractive that is. It compares to marijuana high or any similar buzz. I must find pleasure in experiencing this challenging adventure with my ailing, aging, depressed partner to enjoy true love which will mean giving up needs and desires to remain, and we aren't even married. To me love comes from within and grows to the challenge, love doesn't turn tail for the next tail that offers itself, self indulgence does. Should I leave my partner with her problems as she sometimes suggests to save me from her misery. Or can I find a way to hang in there with a person that I claim to care about. I wrestle fiercely with my lust to feel loved and appreciated while spending my energy on this same woman who can't express her emotions well needs a good friend. My question to myself in these times is can I shine or tarnish? Shall I risk relief by being brave or justify giving up and seek adventure? The choice is mine and she does not owe me anything if I stay, she would actually wish me well if I go, being the true friend that she is. Who do I wish to be????????????....e